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Doors

For a very long time I’ve believed that life is like one long corridor of doorways. And behind every door there all kinds of blessings, experiences and opportunities, to live, love, learn, grow and to find joy and fulfillment . But most doors don’t open themselves. I don’t believe in waiting for my life to live itself. I believe in purposely living it. Every second, of every hour of every beautiful day .

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Dirty Glass

My morning thoughts:

If someone hands you a piece of glass that is dirty and smudged, and asks you to look through that glass and see how dirty the scene on the other side is, what will you see ? Is what you see the reality of what really is ? Or is it just your reality?

If your negative emotions control how you look at a situation, so that what you see becomes negative, is it negative in reality ? Or only through your eyes ?

It is why I stopped discussing politics or social issues. I find most people are gripped in the practice of looking through a smudged glass that has been handed to them, or allowing their negative emotions to cloud their ability to see a situation with true objectivity, unbiased, without prejudice or pre conceived ideas.

I have been guilty of it, but I acknowledge it as a human weakness. As Dr Phil always says, we can’t correct something we don’t acknowledge.

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When a simple poem, or a good rendition of a song with a beautiful message reaches inside you and wraps its fingers tightly around your soul and tears begin to flow from your eyes, you know you have stopped the world on its axis for just a brief moment, torn away the veil of everyday life and allowed yourself in the stillness of that moment to glimpse the beauty of your humanity .

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Election 2020

My outlook:

Who resides in the White House is temporary (thank God for that ).

Americans still have a tremendous amount of control over how they live their lives, what they believe, how they raise their children , work, play, worship etc . I am a believer that we create our own destiny . What is around us only dictates what methods we need to use and what paths to chose in our journey to happiness and success. Nothing is an obstacle if we view it as a stepping stone .

I refuse to fall into the fear game that the world will self destruct in 4 or 8 years over who is President of the United States. Fear is a political tool everyone uses and it always has been .

Don’t misunderstand me. I know this is an important election as two ideologies of the parties could not be further apart, not that I can remember in my lifetime . And politicians working with one another across the aisle in a bipartisan way seems to be a forgotten practice . Both sides have dug their heels in deep . I know that . We all must do our duty , become informed and vote for who we truly believe will be best for our country at this time .

But it’s important to remember that The balance of powers shifting back and forth has always been the characteristic of our system of government . It’s the way the founders intended . And we have enjoyed great success as a Nation with it working that way .

I have lived through multiple President’s terms, both Democrats and Republicans and in my lifetime I have still seen our country move in a forward path in the bigger picture, through both good economies and bad , through times of war and peace , civil discord, pandemics and all kinds of challenges along the way .

Presidents will Continue to come and go but the American people’s spirit is indestructible . We will all be ok .

And Lastly and my most important solace. God is still on the throne . Enough said there.

I May have my preference but I for one will not melt down over the results and will respect the process .

Keep calm and vote on 😊

B: JLE

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I love N.Y.

I was born and raised a New York City Native. I raised my own family in New York City. I know the impact on those who were living in New York when 911 happened. I know what it is like to have seen the smoke swirling into the sky with my own eyes and not just on the TV screen. I know countless people who literally watched the towers fall in real time. I know people whose loved ones perished there. It was horrific. But I also know what it was like to be part of the aftermath. The comfort, the love for our city, the resiliency with which I my fellow New Yorkers pulled together and supported one another through this time. The loyalty and determination at all costs of New York Cities first responders. My eldest Daughter, Son in law and Grandkids currently live and work in New York City. From my safe little North Carolina town I hear and read about the challenges my native city faces today. The covid Pandemic, the rising crime in current times. But my daughter keeps me balanced. She reminds me that New York is a big place, and it has always faced challenges of a big city that small towns don’t. That New Yorkers know how to watch their backs, watch the backs of one another. That the people of New York can withstand challenges and will rise above them, as this day reminds us. They are resilient people. Politicians will come and go but there is spirit about New York that is unfailing. Yes, New Yorkers are loyal to their culture. They are straight forward, and busy. But have their own brand of warmth and friendliness. They are accepting and diverse. New York will always be my home town and it will always be a big part of who I am. I ❤️ NY.

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I am an American woman . I do not feel oppressed . I have had bad things happen to me , some at the hands of men , however, I am NOT a victim . I don’t want to be treated as one . I am not fragile or easily broken . In fact I’m stronger than most men I know .

I have survived bad things however I do not need , closure, revenge , justice, marches, protests , lawyers , politicians using me for personal gain, celebrities speaking for me . In fact no one speaks for me . I can speak for myself . I live in the best country in the world, I can be anyone I want to be , and do anything a man can do and in this country that is my right, and I am grateful to it for that . Please stop using my gender to pretend you are my champion to gain power, recognition, votes or line your pockets.

JLE

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You hear this cliche’ all the time . Everyone seems to have an opinion on what’s wrong with the world . What they mean is what’s wrong with us . The Human race. We all think we know . We all feel we have the answers and all we truly have is opinions . As we forge through this journey of our existence in the world, from generation to generation old problems are solved and new ones emerge and we never eradicate hate, violence, bigotry, fear , do we ? We remain divided and at odds with one another because it’s always someone else’s fault . Well of course it is , because we cannot help ourselves from believing we are not part of the problem . We tell ourselves we are right they are wrong . We are not afraid, angry, judgmental, and prideful . Other people are . What each and every human being fails to realize is that everyone one of us are exactly that to some degree . Because regardless of the physical strength we posses or the intellectual knowledge we gain, The EGO is what’s wrong with us . It is at the root of all our conflicts over our racial, religious, cultural and ideological differences . The Ego tell us we are ok and the other guy is not . EGO feeds our fears, our anger and pride . And it is at the very heart of the human spirit. It’s not a physical or intellectual problem, it’s a spiritual one .

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Remembering

As I get older, like others my age I complain more and more about my memory failing me. But regardless, a Mom never forgets the details of the birth of her first child. Today marks that event 43 years ago. What a child I was myself. Looking back it is like I was someone else. Life tends to transform you that way. At twenty years old, it was the most exciting, scary and amazing thing that had happened to me up to that point. I can still remember feeling the first signs of her life inside my womb. Saying it was surreal is an understatement. Along with the anticipation as the months ensued, of being a mother and raising a real life human being. There was so much I had yet to discover about the immense responsibility this would be. And when the day came I can recall it all. Waking up discovering I had broken my water. Sitting on the couch timing my contractions with her father. Trying to recall and put in to practice all the advice and instructions I had been given up to that point. I wanted to do it right.

Luckily labor was short for a first child . 6-7 hours from start to finish. Remembering that this was 1975 I chuckle at how the process has changed in 42 years. I was put in a hospital room pretty much alone for the labor part with someone checking on me now and then. As awful as this sounds I remember my wrists actually being secured to the bed rails . I think it was so that I did not pull out my IV everytime I would have a contraction and tend to want to sit up and roll over. Ugh, have times changed. Fathers were not present there for the delivery. It was a new concept. And when the time came to push I remember being whisked away to the delivery room and put to sleep. After that, nothing, until I woke up as a Mom in recovery.

Seeing her for the first time was like being handed a living baby Doll. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And she was mine. And there began a lifetime of unconditional love, sacrifice, pride, hard work, moments of heartache and  joys beyond measure. Looking back I am grateful for every single teachable moment. I learned as much as she did in these 43 years. Through trial and error, plenty of mistakes but thankfully enough successes to get her through to adulthood. Nothing will grow you like parenting. I am thankful for every second of it. And seeing your child become an adult  you are proud of is one of the most rewarding things life can bring.

I am now the mother of two beautiful adult daughters. It is a very different experience than raising them was but equally as rewarding and challenging all at the same time. I would not trade this role for anything in the world.

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Never Forget 2

I’ve been thinking today about how abundantly the term “Never Forget” is used today in memory of 911 by people of all walks of life.

It’s another one of those catchy slogans that I myself use, but normally don’t like to use at random because It’s important to me when I say something, it is not up to the interpretation of others like many of our catchy slogans today. It’s that thing I have about not liking labels which I have talked about before. So I stopped to think what I personally mean when I say “Never Forget”. It’s not just a statement of remembrance to mourn those who perished. To think about their families. To feel sad about the loss. It also isn’t about revenge or a vow to carry a grudge toward a certain group of people. When I say never forget, I mean this. I will not forget the horrors that resulted from the lack of regard for human life in the heart of of those terrorists. . I will not forget the sickening result that comes from humans believing that violence is the answer to our differences. I will not forget what can happen when human hearts are twisted with hate for one another over religion, politics, ideologies, grudges over past oppressions in our history. When I say never forget, it means today, and every day I remember what happens when we cannot learn to solve our disagreements with peaceful communication and respect for one another. Human life is sacred. Taking life is unfortunately a horrible reality sometimes necessary to protect the innocents . Its awful that we must use violence to protect ourselves and others but the act of violence against the innocent is the most despicable of human acts. I look around, and see all the justification for violence, sometimes it even sounds reasonable, empathetic, understanding. And then I think of this day, and what hate can lead to. That’s what “Never Forget” means to me,

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I believe that emotions are our biggest barrier to knowledge and wisdom We cannot avoid our emotions but If we let them take the lead when evaluating situations and forming opinions we are not thinking objectively. It is why Jurors are so carefully screened and asked to separate from their emotions when evaluating facts. How we “feel” about something will affect how we view it. The stronger the emotion the more tainted our evaluation will be.

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