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Archive for April, 2018

Rest in Peace

My biological Dad passed away this week. April 1st 2018 to be exact. I did not find out until two days after. Apparently the very small family that is left of the descendants of Dominic and Celia Carlo could not get in touch with me right away. But I did manage to get to New York for his final wake and funeral. We were not close like most Fathers and Daughters most of my life for a host of complicated reasons, but never really anger or resentment on either of our parts. We never had harsh words with one another. My feelings about our relationship took many forms throughout my life but most importantly in recent years they were best described this way. He was who he was. He could have done better by me. But later in life he knew it, and tried his best to apologize. I know he loved me. And I loved him just the way he was. Simply because he was my Father. Yet another exercise in forgiveness, which always ends well for me.

Death has touched me personally more these past two years than in my entire lifetime. I am learning about grief in all of its forms and varying intensities. The loss of a Son in law, and now my Father. In addition, plenty of second hand grief of dear friends who have lost someone. My husband always reminds me that the older we get the more accustomed we will become to this painful fact of life. I am also continuing to learn the importance of forgiveness. Human relationships normally do not just glide happily along with ease. They take determination and the grace to understand that we are all broken in some way. They take work. It is why we say “Rest in Peace’ to those who have passed on and are finished with their work in this life. I truly believe the two most important reasons I am here , is to learn and grow and at the top of the curriculum, is love and forgiveness. There are no life lessons more valuable than this. Not in my book.

 

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